Divorce is terribly difficult. In addition to getting through all the details that divorce entails, you may feel abandoned, cheated on, and alone. It may bring you some comfort to know that many have been through it already, and now there are some proven techniques you can use to overcome the negative emotions and move forward. This is not meant to make your experience small, but rather make your strengths become BIG !
Try these approaches to triumph over the emotional distresses of your divorce:
- Remain calm. Going into a panic will make your challenges worse. When you remain calm, you’ll be better able to carry on with your daily obligations such as work and other responsibilities.
- Seeing a counselor can help you work through your emotions. Just knowing that you have help in getting through this tough time makes it easier to remain calm as you tackle your challenges.
- Practice stress-reducing techniques like meditation, positive self-talk, and taking part in activities that you enjoy. Schedule this time for yourself just as you would any other important activity.
- Take time to reflect on what’s still good about your life. Even though everything seems to be falling apart, some good things remain. List them and read your list whenever you start to feel overwhelmed.
- Build an ample support system with friends and loved ones. When you have an ample support system, you’ll be able to feel more confident as you’re going through the divorce process.
- Utilize friends, neighbors, or relatives for a sounding board if you need to.
- They can also help with various other needs, such as daycare for children or helping with the household chores. Others will usually be glad to help. Just let them know what you need.
- Join a support group. A support group can offer many benefits. The members of the group have been through the same thing as what you’re going through. They will have all kinds of information to share on what they did to overcome different situations in their divorce.
- If you run into bitter people in the group, and it’s overwhelming, try a different group.
- Don’t just STAY BUSY. Often times it is very easy to slip into becoming busy. Especially when there is a looming divorce or separation. While staying busy may give us temporary relief of the strong emotions we must be careful it is not a tactic we are using to cover-up the experience of grief and loss.
- Fight the tendency to go the opposite way and isolate yourself and becoming overwhelmed with the loss of your marriage. FIND THE BALANCE
- Remain cooperative with your ex-spouse. Especially if there are children involved, it’s beneficial for all of you if you can be civil to each other.
- If you can’t remain cooperative at all, ensure that you have ample legal help for any difficulties that might arise.
Using these strategies, while not a “one size fits all solution”, can help you navigate through your divorce. Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends, relatives, and neighbors. Contact a counselor or a local support group for more assistance. Overcoming divorce is a difficult process. Know that you’re not alone, and you’ll be able to get through it and move on.
About the Author:
Joseph Suchanic is licensed Marriage and Family therapist in Missoula, Montana and the owner of Guided Healing Trails. Joseph has over 15 years of experience with families. Is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapist and American Association of Christian Counselors. I have experience assisting couples to have greater caring and respect for self and partner. With knowledge in increasing satisfaction in your relationship and decreasing conflicts, disagreements and tensions, is able to address numerous concerns.